I'm here again, despite of boredom, I need a place to type and tell my secrets. (lol, I'm not really going to tell it) but typing it makes me feel light a less sad. so, what's the story? I always wanted a life with freedom, but I don't think I can achieve it. cause every time I feel light and peace, something came to fuuuu it up and it feels suck. it hurts me, but I didn't say a thing about me being hurt.
IF I told them, will anything be changed? will they make me feel light? I'm sure if I told what I feel, I'll lose them, cause even if its just for a short moment, I want to feel the happiness that present today, tomorrow and maybe forever?
but I knew it all along, it wont last forever. this relationship wont last long, I knew I'll be hurt one day. but I'm still forcing myself to stay strong and continue it. I'll get pain everyday but even for a while, I'll achieve a little tiny bit of happiness. it will stay as a pleasant memory in my mind one day.
and I'm sure I'll smile and laugh when I remember those memories in another 2 years or more. I don't ask much from people, I don't tell them much but when I do, I really mean it. for me, its hard to tell what I feel cause I don't really think they understand. I don't mean like I hate them or what, what I'm trying to say is..
Different people, have different feelings. they won't feel the same about what you feel because they might never felt it, so they won't understand. if you get what I'm trying to say...... anyway, I'm out. I need to find my life, jk.
and the lights you left remain, but it's so hard to stay.